TesticleBound
There's a truck parked in the woods. Seems legit
Can Mr. T be my sister?
Butterflies are so fucking metal
Wasted chicken
Meanwhile in Ness's oriental adventures in Onett
Picky's a Mexican!
Testicles with yummy sauce
Porky stop poisoning people with your dick
OMG another testicle!
Frank is a pencil
WTF I LOVE MAYO
Pastel Grunge Cavemen
Paula's mom is a fatass dinosaur
Literally every enemy in this game is a testicle
Lardna is chasing a bus
Tony's talking to his Cock
Don't people explode if they get fucked by horses?
I still can't get over the Fleshy Yardstick
Is Vagiygas the name of Giygas's mommy?
I had lots of Jeff today
I don't want Porky dick in my face!
Lardna is a testicle
They're all testicles
He is the leader of the testicles
Monkey ass
Sugar-coated Porky dick
That guy looked like he was kissing the taxi
Jeff's junk attacked me
I outran the soup cans
Porky the zombie prostitute
What would a Jeff-shaped guitar even sound like?
Jeff is dead and Ness is Tony
I declare they all have a hot homo party!
One of Porky's pregnant hoes?
Tony is Jeff's gold at the end of the rainbow
The Sky Runner is powered by fucking
A spray made of Aloysius's sweat?
The poor hotdog cart was so scared. You made its wieners retreat in fear.
I wish Jeff would quit leaving his dildos everywhere
Porky you're gonna bust the door stop humping it
Porky's house is Magicant
Your dog is a dude
Jeff's ass attacked me!
Jeff's ass turned into a blowup doll
Puberty was bad to Tracy
Porky's junk is famous?
Porky was diamondized. That's a whole lotta karats
Everyone in this game needs to see a doctor
Check out Porky's two dads
PORKY'S DICK HAS A FACE OH GOSH
Why are there moonwalking camels in the graveyard?
It looks like it pissed itself
Tony's dead. Apparently he has a watersports fetish, too
Ness, his mom, and Paula went camping with a goat
Tony's ass ambushed me
HELP! I'm stuck between Porky's parents!
Don't worry Jeff has enough dildos
Your sperm is pink and musical apparently
Is this where Porky goes to jerk off?
Once again, Ness's PP isn't big enough to get the job done
MALE LOVE WALKERS
Not everyone likes anal
This isn’t a headcanon. THIS IS CANON

This isn’t a headcanon. THIS IS CANON

Ness is a loser and has no friends - a reading from the Book of Pork
Ambushed by dead Poo
Thomas Jefferson seems a little under the weather
Bitch misses home!
I wonder how Jeff would feel if he knew Maxwell Labs was talking shit about him on the internet
Porky has probably rubbed his limp dick on every single thing in New Pork City
Oh God, Flatulent Starman. Don't get too close
Porky's dick makes fries?
I like Dungeon Man but sometimes I think he has a vore fetish
Old man Porky licking a photograph of Ness
Fuck this spinning pedophile!
Only in Earthbound would an ice cream truck try to attack you
That guy is swimming in the sewer
Can everyone see the smiling testicle?
The hot dog stand is an enemy!
Is that guy fapping?
That kid is Giygas!
Why is Belch pissing in this person's garden?
That must be one sexy door
Looks like Everdred is EverDEAD
Ness is at level 50 and he's still in his jammies
Well now we got a smiling testicle with genital warts
Ness has tits!
This gun is called the Holy Beam. Does that make Jeff a Christian Scientist?
Welp, Porky's dad is an alligator
Threed's music is Porky humping a door
Porky just loves that door
This is Snow Wood, you guys. A giant vagina
Dead Paula ran into the men's bathroom
There's too many spawns of Ness in this game. I'm getting suspicious
Oh no Porky is humping the door in Moonside
Why does Porky love doors?
Lumpy space princess?
Tony. He crosses other dimensions in search of Jeff
Why are the donuts soggy?
Tony's following Ness and Jeff is an eel
We found Porky's dick! The "swollen crusher"
Porky bangs everyone forever
Paula's spinning in a cave where Porky's humping the door
It's a smiling testicle
Who pissed everywhere
There's a Porky head in the sewer and it's trying to get me
MONKEY FIRE GODDESS
Is that Mr. Saturn dancing?
Oh shit a puddle
This lady needs a tampon
Jeff was on coke
Dungeon Man how did you get in there
Ness stands in the middle [of Rainy Circle] thinking aww this is nice, but Porky's up in the helicopter pissing on him and laughing
It's Master Belch everyone take a shit
Whoever the hell is having their period in this cave needs to stop
The lineup for my newest playthru of EB. We call it ElementBound. Ness and friends are named after some of the Noble Gases. Most of them just sound cool, but I chose Xenon for Jeff because the Wiki article stated: “the earliest laser designs used xenon flash lamps as pumps. Xenon is also being used … as the propellant for ion thrusters in spacecraft.” And Carbon’s the coolest thing because it’s part of all life, and a ton of other stuff too <3
I’ve been playing Earthbound on Livestream so you’re welcome to join me at this link. Even if I’m not broadcasting, save the link and check back later. I make posts when I broadcast and I may even play movies, Pokemon or Mother 3, too. All are welcome!

The lineup for my newest playthru of EB. We call it ElementBound. Ness and friends are named after some of the Noble Gases. Most of them just sound cool, but I chose Xenon for Jeff because the Wiki article stated: “the earliest laser designs used xenon flash lamps as pumps. Xenon is also being used … as the propellant for ion thrusters in spacecraft.” And Carbon’s the coolest thing because it’s part of all life, and a ton of other stuff too <3

I’ve been playing Earthbound on Livestream so you’re welcome to join me at this link. Even if I’m not broadcasting, save the link and check back later. I make posts when I broadcast and I may even play movies, Pokemon or Mother 3, too. All are welcome!

This is a cute idea but is actually unnecessary. Jeff and Pu live in different time zones than Ness and Paula, so even if by some chance they graduated on the same day (which is unlikely because their customs and schooling are different from US/Eagleland) the ceremonies would not happen at the same time. But Ness could still use PK Teleport to visit Jeff and Pu.

This is a cute idea but is actually unnecessary. Jeff and Pu live in different time zones than Ness and Paula, so even if by some chance they graduated on the same day (which is unlikely because their customs and schooling are different from US/Eagleland) the ceremonies would not happen at the same time. But Ness could still use PK Teleport to visit Jeff and Pu.